Getting to the Heart and Mind of Meditation

Everything you need to know about what meditation actually is, what the benefits are, and many ways to practice.

I hear it all the time when it comes to meditation:

• I can’t meditate, my mind never shuts up!

• It’s too hard.

• I can’t meditate, I can’t sit still!

• I can’t meditate, I just don’t have time.

• It’s too woo-woo.

• I don’t see the point.

And so on.

Many people who think they can’t meditate don’t have a clear picture on what meditation is and what purpose it will serve. Hopefully this will clear things up.

What is Meditation?

The basic principle of meditation is training the mind to be in the present moment to notice what is happening. The 6th and 7th limbs of Yoga, Dharana (Concentration) and Dhyana (Meditative Flow), discuss this practice. They are two similar and related pieces to the puzzle, but have slightly different purposes.

Dharana/Concentration

Dharana involves having a single pointed focus, where you are fully concentrating your mind on one thing. That one thing could be doing the dishes. That one thing could be a mantra. It could be focusing your eyes on the flame of a candle. Perhaps you notice how your breath moves in and out through your nose. It doesn’t matter what the one things is. The point is to hone your focus and concentration and move away from distractions.

The distractions will come, just like that constant inner monologue in your mind. Your mind WILL wander, it’s what it does. The mind rarely stops chattering away in your head. When practicing Dharana, however, you eventually notice that your mind has wandered, and you come back to your focus and begin again.

No need for judgment or criticism. No need to berate yourself for allowing this to happen (I used to do that). When you notice your mind has gone to the past or the future, simply bring it back to the present. Period.

What matters most is returning. Your mind will wander a lot at first. That’s normal. It’s a process. Like weight training to get your muscles stronger, meditation takes practice to get your mind to focus for longer.

At first your mind might wander every half second. With practice, it wanders less, and you may find more space between the thoughts. The more you practice, the longer your concentration lasts. Practice matters much more than “success.” You receive the benefits from attempting to concentrate. The more you practice, the more you benefit.

Dhyana/Meditative Flow

Dropping into a meditative flow can happen when you’ve been practicing Dharana for a long time, often years, though not necessarily. Start with Concentration, and you might find yourself in this flow. When you get into a receptive enough state, the flow appears. When you’ve felt it enough times, you can drop into it more quickly, but it takes practice.

This flow state is quiet, the thoughts in your head are relegated to the background. They might still be there, but they are ambient, not the main attraction. There is a bigger separation between you and your thoughts. There is an inner spaciousness and a softness that you might feel. That’s been my experience of it.

Of course when you realize you are there, it goes away…poof. You grasp at it to hold on, and it’s gone. This state is one of receiving, not of grasping. When you are open to it, with an open heart and open mind, you can feel it. If you are reaching for it, striving, or trying, it will be elusive. When you pause, breathe, and let go, that’s when it arrives. Maybe that’s when you arrive.

Benefits of Meditation

There are many benefits to a meditation practice, and you don’t need to be an “expert” to get them. Benefits include calming stress and anxiety, and improving sleep. Studies have shown improvements in age-related memory loss, improvements in focus and attention span, and enhancing overall emotional health.

When you feel more at ease, this can improve your immunity as well. When we feel stressed, from an evolutionary perspective, blood pressure and muscle tension go up to help us escape danger. The body doesn’t differentiate between escaping a saber-toothed tiger and having a deadline looming over your head. Your body’s experience of stress is the same. Same chemicals release from the brain and affect the body the same way.

Non-survival processes get down-regulated because they are not the priority. These processes are digestion, reproduction, and immunity. For sudden, short-term stress, this is fine. The problem comes when you are in a stressed state for long periods of time.

If you are in a life or death situation, you don’t need to fight off a cold, but if stress is chronically high, you may notice yourself getting sick a lot.

There are many digestive conditions that are sensitive to stress for this same reason, from having loose stools, chronic constipation, or full on IBS. Many people struggle with fertility problems when stress is high too.

Any symptoms that get worse with high stress can potentially improve with a regular meditation practice.

Many ways to practice

Just like with practicing yoga, there are many ways to meditate.

A common way is seated. Did you know you don’t have to sit cross-legged on the floor? You can sit in a chair. You can kneel. Lying down is another option, as long as you are not going to fall asleep. If you choose to sit, you want your hips higher than your knees and to have your knees supported. This way you can sit with a relatively straight spine and your body won’t hurt as much.

If you are someone who can’t sit still, there are so many options for you. There is walking meditation. I drop into a meditative state when I swim. The rhythm of the breath and repetitive movements are perfect for meditation. Some people find meditation when they run, hike, or bike. Vinyasa Yoga is also a moving meditation. As long as you are noticing what is happening in your mind and body, that is meditation.

Time Restrictions

There is a famous story:

A student comes to the teacher and says, “I can’t meditate for 20 minutes every day like you told me to. I don’t have the time!”

The teacher says, “then you need to meditate for an hour.”

It seems counterintuitive, but the point is, if you can’t find time to meditate for 20 minutes, your life is too busy and it is not serving you.

There are many reasons to feel like you can’t find 20 minutes in your day. If you are in the thrall of early parenthood, where your kids need you all day long and you crave the time when they are sleeping and you have a moment to breathe. This is a time when you may desperately need the peace of meditation, but literally be too exhausted to practice. The good news is, practicing 3 minutes can change how you feel. At this time in your life, you don’t need the full 20. Or even 10. Or 5.

Later in life, when you do have time to yourself, how much time do you spend numbing yourself by doom scrolling or playing games on your phone (guilty)? What if you took 5-10 of those minutes to meditate. You’d still have multiple hours to numb yourself if you choose to. I invite you to take one “episode” of social media time and meditate instead. You might notice you feel more refreshed than you would otherwise.

I wrote a free eBook, “3 Myths About Meditation and Why it’s Easier Than You Think!” that addresses many of these issues, plus offers support. It includes a 6 minute guided meditation practice for you to experiment with to see how you feel.

Practice Opportunities

Day of Silence, 1 Day in person Retreat

I am excited to offer this special 1 day Retreat in Wayland, MA! Silence is a powerful practice that can bring deep quiet and peace to the mind and body.

When you talk all day long, your nervous system amps up. You might not be in fight or flight, but there can be a freneticism to your being.

When you stop speaking, your mind slows down. When you stop speaking for an entire day, everything slows down. You are left feeling ease and peace in your mind and body. If you practice meditation for 5-30 minutes that helps release you from the grips of stress and anxiety. Imagine what a whole day might bring?

Day of Silence will take place July 13 from 9am-4pm. The day will be broken up with yoga, multiple meditation sessions, a walk, and a shared meal, all in silence. You get to experience the group energy of being in community, with the quiet and tranquility of practicing alone. 

We will talk and share at the beginning and end of the day to create connection, community, and a group experience.

Click this link for more information or to sign up!

Movement and Meditation, ongoing online class

Movement and Meditation, Mondays, 8-8:40am ET, online at Purple Room Yoga!

This all levels class offers 20 minutes of gentle yoga movement to wake up the body, stretch out and shake out stiffness, followed by 20 minutes of both guided and silent meditation. Regular students report that this is the best way to start the week! This class can also be taken on demand. Many students enjoy this class before bed as it is calming and prepares them for sleep!

Click here to sign up for the live class, and here to check out the Video Library!