Practical Benefits Of Silence For Releasing Stress

Sharing my experience of not talking, and the incredible effect it had on my body and mind.

In the late 90s, I attended a 4 day silent retreat where I didn't speak for 4 days. I’m not sure what attracted me to this particular retreat, maybe it was because it was back to back with a Yoga Journal Conference. I don’t remember. I didn’t have kids at the time, so I was free to attend these types of events as often as I could afford to.

As someone who was used to being constantly on the go, never finding a moment of quiet, this was a huge change. I practiced yoga and meditation, listened to lectures, but didn't speak at all. I moved in silence, ate in silence, and shared a dorm room with 5 other women I didn't know, all in silence. 

At first, the silence was awkward and uncomfortable. I was used to making small talk with people, and now I was only talking in my own head. I would nod to people passing in the hall, as somehow not talking felt rude to the other people who were there. Hello, social conditioning. Not everyone was doing the silent retreat. I should have had a pin that said “in silence” or something like that, but I didn’t. I felt the urge to prove to others that I wasn’t being rude, but I couldn’t. I just had to be with the thoughts spinning in my head.

Initially, the chatter in there was loud, unpleasant, and quite critical, as it tended to be at that time in my life. But now I was quiet enough to notice. I didn’t have my usual distractions to keep them at bay, so they all came booming in. Worrying about what others were thinking, was I doing this right, why am I doing this, etc, was now incessant. Temporarily.

After an initial discomfort with not talking, my tension and inner discord began melting away. I dropped into a deep peace that I had never known before. My anxious racing mind, that rattled on with all sorts of nonsense, started to quiet down. By letting go of small talk, or any talk, I allowed myself to be truly present with myself. I noticed that my own internal monologue got quieter too. It slowed to the point of barely existing. There was simply quiet and calm. Silence.

I found I enjoyed not speaking. My mind was relaxed, but I also felt an ease in my body that was unfamiliar. Muscles let go, I wanted to move more slowly and intentionally than I normally did. This was quite an awakening.

The peace I felt was like dropping into a pool, that empty soundlessness, hearing only your breath. I let go of the societal politenesses and could just be. I could be me, as I was, no needing to prove anything to anyone, not needing to be anything for anyone but myself. When I exhaled, it was as if it were the first time. Pure relief.

Once the 4 days were over, talking again felt hard. I didn’t want to, as I was enjoying the quiet. The Yoga Journal Conference that descended upon the retreat center was a bit jarring to my nervous system. I ate in the silent dining room for another day before I began to talk again. It took me about 24 hours to transition back to speaking. I just didn't want to. For the first time in my life, I felt truly at peace.

The memory of how I felt during that retreat is still with me, all these decades later. I wanted to share the experience of silence with students and people in my community, like you! I am running a 1 day retreat in Wayland, MA called Day of Silence. My goal is to share this easeful feeling with you, allowing you to drop your stories and tune into your own well of silence.

Feel the benefits of not talking, while being surrounded by community. Experience the group energy of simply being with one another, feeling each other's presence, and resting in the quiet.

I came across this article by Rebecca Beris about the power of silence and the multitude of brain benefits. In studies with mice and humans, silence was shown to aid in brain cell regeneration, allow us to internalize and evaluate information, relieve stress and tension, and replenish our cognitive resources. These studies looked at silence over the course of a few hours. Imagine what being silent for an entire day can do for you?

If you’d like more information on Day of Silence, click here for all the details. If you are not local to Massachusetts, there might be a silent retreat in your area. Or, as the article states, you might want to visit Finland, known for it’s quiet. If none of these things are available, do your own silent retreat. Take a few hours to stop talking. Go for a walk, practice yoga or t’ai chi, be with the thoughts inside your head, with no distractions, until they talk themselves out. You’ll be left with silence. {exhale}

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