When You Manage Uncertainty it can Feel Impossible
But it doesn't have to
Currently in the United States, uncertainty abounds. There are so many things that are out of our control and that can only cause one thing: anxiety. Anxiety happens when you focus on things over which you have no control. Unfortunately, you can’t control much. So what can you do?
Focus on what you can control. You can control your actions and how you respond to what is happening around you. That’s pretty much the whole list.
You can’t control the waves, but you can learn how to surf. ~Jon Kabat-Zinn
Stress is like a wave. The waves will come whether you like it or not. You can choose whether you allow the waves to knock you down, or if you ride the wave. Letting the stress in or allowing it to roll on by is absolutely within your control.
Creating space
You might feel like anxiety is in your DNA, that you are built to worry. You may have come by that habit honestly, learning it from one or both of your parents. I was a 3rd generation worrier, as both grandmothers and my mother all worried constantly. I have learned to let go of worrying, as it doesn’t actually accomplish anything.
The reason you worry is because it feels like you are doing something when nothing can be done. Remember, anxiety is focusing on things you can’t control. Worrying is an action step, kinda, but all it does is keep you spinning in your anxiety, and doesn’t actually move you forward. It doesn’t fix or change anything, no matter how many “what if’s” you solve.
I find that noticing when you are anxious with your mind spinning creates a bit of space between you and your thoughts. In that space, you have the power of choice. When you notice yourself spinning out, you have the option for change. When you are stuck in the spin, there is no space, and you have no power over yourself. The power comes from noticing.
Focusing the mind
Meditation teaches you to notice what is happening right now. The mind likes to go to the past or the future as there is a lot more “drama” there; it’s far more interesting. Sitting still and noticing this moment is less interesting, but give you power over yourself.
You notice your breath, your thoughts, physical sensations, sounds in your environment, etc. When you practice meditation, you build a skill that you can take with you into your life off the mat. You practice when things are easy so that you have access to the skills when things are hard.
Focusing your mind is challenging at first because the mind doesn’t like to settle on one thing. It has all sorts of ideas, commentary, and resistance to being quiet in our society of stimulation. Thoughts race from one thing to the next, to the past, to the future, anywhere but where you are.
Learning to focus, aka Concentration (Dharana), is the first step in meditation, and is the 6th Limb of Yoga. Once your mind can settle on one thing, you can drop into a Meditative Flow (Dhyana—7th Limb) where the world falls away and you are just here. For the purposes of managing the chaos of life, start with the practice of Dharana/Concentration.
Noticing your thoughts
When you notice your thoughts, you realize you are not your thoughts. You are the noticer of your thoughts. Identifying as the noticer creates space between you and your thoughts. In that space, you can see what is happening in your mind objectively and decide whether to believe the stories you are telling yourself.
We tell ourselves all sorts of stories: I’m not good enough, I’m too much, I’m a burden, I’m unloveable, I’m doing this wrong, I can’t meditate, etc. None of these stories are true. Not a single one. When you believe these stories, you feel anxious and less than. When you can let go of these stories, you feel calm and settled in your body.
Belonging to yourself and loving yourself is an incredible cure for these racing thoughts and beliefs.
I am enough.
I am loveable.
I am worthy of belonging.
When you internalize these phrases and ideas, it changes how you see the world, and how you feel in your body. It takes time, but how you feel inside affects how you perceive what is happening in your world. It’s much easier to roll with things when you feel comfortable in your own skin.
If you change how you look at things, the things you look at change.~Wayne Dyer
Practice
Please enjoy my free gift to you, the eBook, “3 Myths About Meditation and Why it’s Easier Than You Think!” I wrote this book to help you understand what meditation is and isn’t so that you might find it more accessible.
Included in the eBook is a 6 minute meditation video where I guide you through a simple practice. Whether you’ve been meditating for years or are a brand new beginner, it is a simple to follow meditation practice that is easy to fit into your busy day. Click the button for your free ebook:
Join me every Monday at 8am ET online for Movement and Meditation! 20 minutes of gentle yoga movements to stretch, breathe, and shake out the stiffness, followed by 20 minutes of both guided and silent meditation. The best way to start each week! Click the button below to see the full yoga schedule at Purple Room Yoga, an online yoga studio for active adults over 50!
Janine, This is helpful information that we all need right now. Thank you so much for sharing it!