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Sophie Goodenough's avatar

This was such a good reminder for me. Since my dad died in February I have been grappling with this. I’m definitely a phone/video game numb-er. When I try not to do that, such anxiety comes up for me that I can only tolerate it for a few minutes. There were logistical reasons I didn’t come to the last retreat, but if I’m being honest the biggest one was fear of having an experience like you had in your workshop. Aside from music performance, I can hardly tolerate being the center of attention like that, even loving attention, when I’m feeling emotionally regulated. When I’m not? No way. Hide me under a rock. I’ll keep working on it. 💜

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Jacquie Bullard's avatar

I relate to this so much! I go into numbing mode a lot. It had become a default at some point and how hard it is to switch gears and let yourself feel. Feeling the old stuff can be so hard because it's related to something that is not happening right now. Thanks for sharing this post. I'm sure everyone has a similarly impactful situation from their past and it's in the sharing that we begin to recognize these things!

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